Dear working mom,

I understand your daily routine all too well. From the early morning hours to the quiet moments late at night, your life moves in a constant rhythm of responsibility.

The Day

When the alarm goes off, your feet hit the floor, and before you’re fully awake, you’re already caring for everyone else. Coffee comes first – at least it does for me. The kitchen is still dark and quiet, just as you left it the night before. If you’re lucky, you get to enjoy that coffee before the day demands your attention. Before you reach the last sip of your coffee, you often remember tasks that need to be completed before everyone wakes up: the load of laundry that needs to be put to dry, the dinner that needs to go into the slow cooker, or warming up lunch to pack in a thermos.

As you move through the house, you wake the children (and sometimes your husband), while getting yourself ready and reminding everyone of their responsibilities. “Did you brush your teeth?”, “Are you dressed?”, “Is your backpack ready?”, “Don’t forget to take the dog out.”

Every morning follows the same routine, day in and day out. Throughout it all, you strive to remain patient, calm, and kind, as you want everyone to start their day positively. As you step out the door with bags in hand, children lag slowly behind you. Then you shift from being a drill sergeant to a chauffeur, transitioning from caretaker to employee.

Your lunch breaks are not truly breaks; they are filled with managing bills, making appointments, scheduling checkups, and coordinating school meetings. You are engaged in all the behind-the-scenes work, the invisible labor that keeps your family functioning smoothly.

After work, you go through your usual routines – practices, activities, errands – before finally heading home. Some days, you manage to prepare a quick, planned dinner. But most days, you opt for the most nutritious meal you can find. No matter how tired you are, you take time to spend time with the children, often nearly dozing off while reading their favorite bedtime story, the one you know by heart.

The Night

When the house finally falls silent, your work is far from over. There are dishes to be washed, lunches to pack, clothes to fold, and plans to make for tomorrow. Only then do you allow yourself to rest. Even then, your mind doesn’t always quiet down. You feel exhausted, but it’s more than just physical fatigue. You feel stretched thin, unappreciated, and judged – for working, for not doing enough, and sometimes for doing too much.

The Frustration + The Healing

You give and give, and sometimes you wonder if anyone truly sees how much you carry. As a working mom, I understand that I’m only seeing part of your story. Many of you are single mothers with minimal support. Some of you are caring for infants, spending nights looking after them, and managing to get up and go to work each day. It’s incredible how you keep going. I know there are days when everything flows smoothly, and other days filled with tears of frustration and exhaustion. It’s important not to ignore those warning signs.

This is where therapy can be beneficial. Therapy helps you recognize that your tears, frustration, and fatigue are not signs of weakness — they are signals that something needs to be addressed. Therapy offers you a space that isn’t focused on asking you to “do more” or “be better.” Instead, it’s a place where you can freely express your feelings without shame or guilt, prioritizing your needs over the needs of others.

In therapy, working moms often start to:

• Put words to how exhausted they really are, instead of dismissing it.
• Let go of unrealistic expectations and the guilt that comes with them.
• Practice setting boundaries in ways that feel safe and comfortable.
• Gently work through resentment, frustration, and burnout in a safe space.
• Reconnect with their identities beyond their various roles and responsibilities.
• Find the right words for emotions they’ve been holding inside.
• Push back on the belief that you have to do it all alone to feel worthy.

On a side note, I haven’t mentioned husbands or fathers much in this blog. While I know some husbands and fathers do help out with the routines, for those whose partners don’t, the discussion about setting boundaries and the belief that you must handle everything alone highlights the importance of learning why and how to advocate for ourselves.

Many of you feel there is no time for therapy. However, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential.

It’s similar to the oxygen mask analogy we hear on airplanes: you must put your mask on first before you can really be there for anyone else. Therapy is one way to put on your oxygen mask -– allowing you to breathe, reset, and care for the people you love from a less depleted place.

As a working mom, you are doing meaningful work both in your career and at home. You deserve care, too. Therapy can be a space where you finally receive care. Our therapists are here to support you and help you work towards a life of emotional well-being. I used to rush in the mornings, but now, I wake up and take 20 minutes for myself by doing a morning yoga stretch, reading a devotional, and praying. Throughout the day, I check in by using the How We Feel app, and practice some of the breathing exercises it offers. At night, I find peace sitting quietly at the end of the day with a cup of tea in hand, or reading a book. Instead of focusing on everything I didn’t finish, I reflect on the fact that I showed up again.

Sometimes, I lose this rhythm and find myself drowning again, and I remind myself to put the oxygen mask on myself first by practicing self-care.