Are you someone who would rather crawl into a cave until the holiday season is over? Does the anticipation of the season feel like a weighted backpack of negative emotions and stress which is hard to take off? First, I want you to know you are not alone.

The holiday season can be a mixed experience for many. For some, it’s a season of stress, grief, conflict, or an odd mix of joy and sadness wrapped up in an annoying flashy bow. So many things come into play: family dynamics, increased financial obligations, to-do lists a mile long, scrambling to get everything done, pressure to feel joyful and live up to expectations, etc. These can color a glittering and festive landscape gray. This unique season packages together a group of dynamics that challenges even the most skilled communicators.

Although there is not a magic pill to take that will turn you into a sparkling festive Dr. Seuss character from Whoville, there may be some small things you can do this season to poke a few holes into the gray landscape around you.

Break

1. Give yourself permission to pause: The holiday season often brings a whirlwind of activity and expectations. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to step back and breathe. Consider this: for most of the year, you navigate life with a certain level of autonomy and independence. Yet, the holidays can sometimes sweep you back into old family dynamics and routines that may not align with your current lifestyle or needs.

This year, try to integrate moments of your everyday life into your holiday routine. Whether it’s visiting a local café to savor a latte and dive into a captivating book, or setting aside time to video chat with friends, these small acts can provide a sense of normalcy and refreshment amidst the festive chaos.

Think about what a ‘break’ could mean for you. It might involve introducing a new tradition that reflects your personal growth, or consciously deciding to forego certain family expectations. It’s about finding balance and allowing yourself the space to enjoy the holidays in a way that feels authentic to you.

Connect

2. Seek out meaningful connections: Loneliness can be amplified during the holidays, but it’s important to resist the urge to withdraw. Connection is key, and it often requires a proactive approach. Remember the words of Alfred Adler: “Overcoming difficulties leads to courage, self-respect, and knowing yourself.” This season, challenge yourself to reach out and connect with others.

Connection can take many forms. It might be sharing a cup of coffee with a trusted friend, exploring holiday lights together, or joining a community event. Sometimes, it’s about taking a chance on new relationships or simply exchanging holiday stories with a stranger. For those who find solace in spirituality, religious communities can offer a sense of belonging and reflection during this time.

Give

3. Embrace the spirit of giving: Generosity isn’t just about material gifts; it’s about offering kindness, time, and understanding. Alfred Adler encouraged his patients to find healing in pleasing others, and indeed, there is a unique joy that comes from selfless acts. My family’s tradition of sharing wrapped presents with those less fortunate during our festive city outings has become a cherished part of our holidays. It’s a moment to connect, to share, and to remember that we’re all on this journey together.

Yet, it’s also important to extend that generosity inward. Allow yourself grace for the moments you fall short, and recognize that it’s okay to feel a spectrum of emotions during the holidays. By nurturing compassion for yourself, you open your heart to express that same compassion to others.

Plan

4. Strategize for serenity: The holiday hustle can be overwhelming, but a little planning can ease the pressure. Identify what aspects of the season heighten your stress and brainstorm practical solutions. Remember, perfection isn’t the goal—contentment is.

If gift-giving is a source of stress, simplify the process. Choose thoughtfulness over extravagance, and remind yourself that the act of giving is more valuable than the gift itself. You may try practicing a new mindset, such as, “There are no perfect gifts.” or “I’m not going for perfection, but just something nice.”

Prioritize your tasks and accept that some things may not get done—and that’s perfectly fine. You may need to make a plan for responding differently in conversations, or a plan for grieving a loss, or making room to be more present with your children. Whatever it is, take a moment to brainstorm and plan something a little different this year.

Reach Out

Consider counseling as a sanctuary for reflection and growth. It’s a space where you can pause, connect, and set intentions for self-care and compassion. This holiday season, explore the transformative power of working with a therapist and how it can support you in finding peace and joy.

Please reach out and get started today!