Finding Freedom from Disordered Eating through Values and Self-Compassion

Disordered eating doesn’t always fit neatly into a diagnosis. Maybe you or a close friend are constantly thinking about “clean eating,” maybe you get anxious when not able to go to the gym on a daily basis, maybe your worth feels tied to the number on the scale. It may be tempting to brush these habits or thoughts away as non problematic because they do not necessarily mean one has a clinical eating disorder. However, behavior and thoughts around disordered eating or preoccupation with exercise can be difficult and significantly affect one’s quality of life.

As a therapist, one of the most powerful tools I’ve found in helping clients navigate these patterns is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is different from a lot of traditional therapy as it doesn’t try to eliminate stressful thoughts or hard feelings. Instead, through emphasizing mindfulness and personal values, ACT teaches us how to engage with distressing thoughts, understand them more, therefore understanding ourselves more and understanding what type of change or help we really need. In this post, we’ll explore a few ways ACT can help those struggling with disordered eating.

Untangling from Disordered Eating Thoughts

Disordered eating often thrives on harsh, repetitive thoughts like:

• “Don’t eat that, it has way too many calories.”
• “The longer you can delay eating the better.”
• “You have to make up for what you ate and drank last night.”

ACT helps us notice these thoughts and label them as mere thoughts. Not truths or commands, just thoughts we experience. We don’t have to obey these thoughts, give them our energy or attention, or even feel shame/guilt for experiencing these thoughts. Instead, we can step back and make mindful decisions based on our values rather than based on harsh thoughts.

Acceptance: Making Room for Discomfort

When someone is going through the journey of decreasing disordered eating shame, guilt, and anxiety are often part of the emotional experience. If eating has been structured by rigid rules and expectations it can be really scary to let go of those rules. Or if exercise has always been prioritized over personal life or even quality of life, it can be anxiety provoking to give up exercising every day no matter what. Even when you’re making decisions for yourself that you know will be good for you in the long run, it can be hard to sit with those decisions in the moment. And ACT doesn’t say get rid of that difficulty! ACT proposes that we can be present with the discomfort, we can say, “this is hard right now, and I’m allowed to feel it.” Ending the resistance to the difficult feeling often makes the difficult feeling a bit more manageable.

Grounding in the Now

Disordered eating often focuses on the past (“I used to be so thin”) or the future (“If I can just lose 10 pounds I’ll look perfect for that event.”). ACT emphasizes the importance and value in anchoring ourselves into the present. ACT teaches us how to be mindful, how to really notice if we’re hungry, how to appreciate all the tastes and sensations of food, how to notice and appreciate our body without judgement.

Grounding in Values

Disordered eating can narrow our world; life becomes about counting calories, tracking meals, obsessively planning workout routines. Sometimes beautiful parts of life like going out to eat with friends or celebrating with dessert or champagne will get canceled because of fear and desire for control. ACT helps you remember that life is bigger than food and body image. Things you value- perhaps connection, joy, honesty, compassion, or curiosity- can guide your life instead of fear of food or gaining weight. Perhaps asking yourself the question, “If I wasn’t consumed by food or body thoughts today, what would I want to focus on?” and taking small intentional steps towards that.

Reach Out

ACT offers an empowering roadmap when addressing disordered eating. It can be scary and uncomfortable to acknowledge and address disordered eating, but it is worth it to pursue the actual life and values you desire. Addressing disordered eating with a therapist can provide intentional space to process and receive help. If you or someone you love may be struggling with disordered eating don’t hesitate to reach out today.