The end of a romantic relationship is difficult, and comes with its own unique healing journey. Whether you have decided to end the relationship or were blindsided, navigating the aftermath can be tumultuous. Emotions are heightened, anxiety is high, and the future seems unpredictable. In this blog, we’ll explore what’s important to remember when coming out of a relationship, as well as tips and suggestions for healing.

The Importance of Grief

Ending a relationship starts a grieving process that is similar to losing a loved one to death. Grief has many triggers, all of them valid and painstaking, and all with a similar set of stages. One of the most important pieces of healing from a break up is to honor the spectrum of emotions that one might experience. The stages of grief are traditionally shock and denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Remember that like any process, grief may not be linear. There may be days that feel wonderful and other days, the emotions will sit heavier on the heart. Allow yourself to process and sit with your emotions without judgment or criticism.

Prioritizing Self-Compassion

Building Support Systems

A safe space to process and feel supported is incredibly important during the break up process. Prioritize time with your friends and family where you can get encouragement, comfort and perspective. You may also want to reach out to your therapist or talk through your feelings with your current therapist if you have one, in order to have an unbiased space. Regardless of who you plan to process with, remember that vulnerability is not a weakness– it builds connection and takes strength to show and sit with difficult emotions.

Reflection

The aftermath of a breakup is conducive for introspection, understanding and growth. Set aside time to reflect on the relationship; the yes and no’s, dynamics, and its overall health. This is also a time to reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself and take accountability for any actions. Being particularly tender with yourself during this part of the process may be helpful, as it can be difficult to sit with the reality of the ended relationship.

Setting Boundaries

Identifying new boundaries and sticking to them is pivotal in navigating a break up. This may look like limiting contact with your partner– whether that be through call, text or social media. Another common boundary is being mindful of who you process the breakup with, avoiding discussing it at length with mutual friends or family members you or your partner may continue to be close to.

Self-Care

There’s a common misconception that self-care is selfish, but it’s a necessary aspect of nurturing yourself and your health. While one half of the healing journey can be seen as painful, being sure to engage in activities that cultivate joy and comfort is important. Prioritize feeding the part of your spirit that longs and needs leisure, rest and tenderness.

Finding Closure

Closure is a concept that is different for everyone– some may need closure and others may not. Know that whatever way you feel you need to utilize to obtain closure is not right or wrong. Some find closure through talking things through with the ex-partner while others find it within themselves. Trust yourself and know that closure will develop with healing and time. Be sure to focus on finding an inner peace, independent of the validation of others, or a possible resolution. If you’re having trouble finding closure, check out this blog on what to do when there’s no closure.

Embracing the Journey with Hope

As said before, healing from a break up is not a linear process– there will be ups and downs, hard days that feel like setbacks, and eventually breakthroughs. Be sure to embrace the journey with patience and compassion for yourself. Make a big deal out of celebrating the wins, no matter how small they are and know that it takes courage and strength to sit with your pain and learn from it. Healing isn’t a destination, it’s a path of evolution to promote self-discovery and self-love.

Breakups can be compared to a storm. Once the clouds start to break and the rain lets up, a new day will begin, filled with warmth and new possibilities. Grasp onto the opportunity to rebuild your life, reimagine and prioritize your goals, wants and needs. There has been years and years of proven resilience in the human race, and there is always room to move forward. Remember that you are capable of surviving, but also thriving despite experiencing heartbreak.

Navigating a breakup, whether it be anticipated or unplanned is a vulnerable, transformative process. Allowing yourself to move through the stages of grief, prioritizing self-compassion, building and tending to your support systems, and engaging in intentional self care will aid in moving through the storm of a breakup. Through these practices, there will be growth, new understanding and increased autonomy.

Dealing with the aftermath of a break up? Struggling to process and validate the emotions that come with grieving a relationship? Reach out to our office to start your healing journey.