A Word to the Lonely During the Holidays

The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many people, this season can feel incredibly isolating. If you find yourself feeling lonely or disconnected at a time when the world seems so full of celebration, please know this—you’re not alone in these feelings, and there are ways to gently care for yourself during this season.

It’s okay to not feel the holiday spirit, and it’s okay to long for connection. The good news is that these emotions don’t have to define your holidays, and even small steps can bring comfort and hope. Here are some ways to nurture yourself during this time and gently shift feelings of isolation toward connection.

Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

First and foremost, it’s important to validate what you are feeling. Loneliness is a deeply human experience, and there is no shame in feeling disconnected, even during a season that emphasizes togetherness.

Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” and allow yourself to sit with whatever answer arises. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even angry about your situation. These emotions are valid, and naming them is the first step toward healing.

Remember, you don’t need to push yourself to feel joyous if that isn’t where you are right now. Allow your emotions to exist without judgment, and remind yourself that they do not define your worth or your future.

Reach Out for Connection

When loneliness occurs, it can sometimes feel easier to withdraw further. But reaching out—even in small ways—can remind you that connection is still within reach. Start by considering who in your life might be supportive and available to listen. A phone call, text, or even a short email to a trusted friend or family member can create moments of meaningful connection.

If those avenues feel unavailable, there are many spaces where you can find community during the holidays. Online platforms like support groups or social media communities centered around shared interests can provide a sense of belonging. Volunteering your time at a local shelter, food bank, or community event can also be an excellent way to connect with others while giving back.

Sometimes, connection begins with vulnerability. Reaching out to say, “I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately. Could we talk?” can open the door to support and compassion from the people who care about you.

Create Your Own Holiday Rituals

It’s easy to feel disconnected when the holidays revolve around traditions that you may not be part of. But you have the power to create your own traditions—ones that are meaningful and fulfilling to you personally.

Think about what brings you comfort or joy. Maybe it’s baking cookies, lighting candles, watching your favorite movie, or writing in a journal. You could even start traditions of spending quality time with your pet or starting new books.

These small practices can imbue the holidays with meaning and remind you that celebration isn’t limited to norms or traditions. You can redefine the season in a way that feels right for you.

Practice Self-Compassion

Loneliness can sometimes give rise to harsh self-criticism, leading you to feel as though you’re unworthy of connection or that something is wrong with you. These thoughts are not truths—they are thoughts that often are connected to negative life experiences or messages received from one’s upbringing.

To combat this, lean into self-compassion. Imagine how you would comfort a close friend who was feeling the way you are right now. What words of reassurance, gentleness, or hope would you offer? Now, try offering those same words to yourself. A simple phrase like, “I am worthy of connection and love,” or “It’s okay to feel this way right now,” repeated to yourself can help in shifting perspective of self and the accompanying loneliness.

Limit Social Media Comparison

It’s so easy to look at photos of seemingly perfect holiday gatherings online and feel even more alone. But also important to remember is that social media is often a curated highlight reel—it rarely reflects the full picture of someone’s life.

If scrolling through social media worsens your feelings of isolation, it’s okay to take a break. Instead, use that time to focus on self-care or activities that bring you joy, even in small ways. Taking a break from social media can also help with being present in your life, seeing the details that make it beautiful.

Remember That This Moment Is Temporary

The holidays, though emotionally challenging, are just one chapter in your story. Feelings of disconnection may feel overwhelming now, but they don’t last forever. Life is full of opportunities for connection in unexpected ways and at unexpected times.

Remind yourself that even though loneliness is hard, it is a feeling that ebbs and flows—it doesn’t define your worth, and it doesn’t dictate what the next season of your life will hold. Moving through the seasons of the year and of life are part of experiencing the ups and downs of life.

Know That Support Is Available

If your loneliness feels too heavy to bear alone, reaching out for professional support can be an incredibly powerful act of self-care. A therapist can offer a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore your feelings and help you develop strategies for coping and finding connection.

Whether through individual therapy, group sessions, or online support, there are people and resources ready to remind you that you are not alone, even when it feels that way.

You Are Not Alone

The holidays can be hard, but they can also be a time for self-discovery and quiet acts of self-care. You are worthy of love, joy, and connection—not just during the holidays, but everyday.

However you spend this season, we hope you find moments that remind you of your resilience and your capacity to find light, even in the darkest of times. You are enough, exactly as you are, and you are deserving of all the good things life has to offer.

If you’re needing extra support this season, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. Healing begins with connection, and you don’t have to take this path alone.