Could you think of one thing you’re grateful for? Now think of one thing you’ve been stressed or worried about. Chances are, one was easier to answer than the other. It’s natural for our minds to drift toward what’s uncertain or uneasy. Gratitude often takes more work and intention.

Similarly, humility—like gratitude—is a practice that doesn’t come easily. But it may hold surprising power in helping us cope with stress, worry, and anxiety.

What to do with Stress, Worry & Anxiety?

While stress is a normal part of life, it can grow into worry when we dwell on it too long. Worry can morph into fear, and fear into anxiety—where we begin projecting into the future, imagining worst-case scenarios. In this anxious state, we often fixate on our perceived mistakes, weaknesses, or the things we “should have” done differently. Sometimes this even leads to shame or regret, keeping us stuck in the past.

Have you ever gotten off a phone call and instantly replayed everything you said, wondering if you could have changed the outcome? Or after a disappointment, like not getting a job offer, found yourself blaming your own performance? That self-focus—especially when harsh or overcritical—can fuel both depression (looking backward) and anxiety (looking forward).

But what if we could pause? Stay grounded in the present moment, and offer ourselves grace? What if the antidote wasn’t more striving, but humility?

3 Characteristics of Humility

C.S. Lewis famously said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” At its core, humility is about:

• Accurate self-perception – Recognizing both your strengths and weaknesses. This lets you ask for help without shame, own your gifts without arrogance, and release the pressure to perform or be perfect.
• Openness to learning – A humble person embraces a growth mindset, believing they can keep growing and changing. It’s not about knowing everything, but being willing to learn—without defensiveness or fear of failure.
• Appreciation of others – True humility shifts our focus outward. We grow not just for ourselves, but to better serve, connect, and contribute to others.

These traits reframe how we see ourselves. Instead of being trapped in self-doubt or perfectionism, humility gives us permission to be human—and to keep growing. It relieves us of the anxious need to have it all together, while still inviting us to show up fully and faithfully.

You’re Not Alone

If this resonates with you, and you’re finding it hard to hold this kind of grace for yourself, working with a therapist can be a safe space to begin. Therapy helps build an accurate, compassionate view of yourself—with someone walking beside you as you grow.

At Optimum Joy, we’re here to support you on that journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out and get started with a therapist today!