Burdened | Walked all over | Stretched thin | Uncared for | Devalued | Lack of confidence
The list could go on and on. Women are expected to be nurturing and caring- which is great until you’re a women who feels anything from the list above. It is only in learning to say no that you can learn to say yes to what you throughly enjoy. The below video highlights two thoughts on how you can skill build your ability to say no. If you can’t watch right now, continue scrolling for a brief version of the video.
Why is it so difficult to say no?
You may struggle saying no because you are worried that other people will not like you or perhaps think you’ve changed. Potential judgement reigns in our minds. Often, turning down something isn’t as dramatic as it can be made out in your mind, but the pressure keeps you from saying no. Also, becoming a “yes woman” was probably incredibly useful. You may have been promoted at work or developed a reputation as a loyal friend. The problem is when saying yes to everyone and everything leaves you feeling depleted and devalued.
Two Thoughts on Learning to Say No
#1: Learn to value yourself first
Changing the way you think about yourself is critical. If you do not value you time and energy, appreciating who you are and what you have to offer, nobody will. Often this can be difficult to do alone, so invite someone in who is trustworthy. Letting another person know your struggle with saying know can be the first step to changing how you think about yourself.
Practice saying no where it doesn’t matter- in a restaurant or anywhere with people you don’t know. It can be as easy as refusing the flyer offered to you on the street. When it is stranger, the struggle of disappointing people isn’t as strong. Then, as you grow in confidence saying no, intentionally do it where there is more emotional weight. Standing up for yourself is difficult! So practicing in the small areas prepare you progressively for the moments where it really counts.
Doing anything differently than previously done is excruciating. If you resonate with the content here, it is because you have said yes and cared for everyone to the point of feeling overwhelmed. It is time to care for yourself. If you are struggling to make this a reality, contact myself of another mental health professional. I help women all the time to grow in assertiveness, growing to love who they are.