We’ve all had those moments when our thoughts start to run the show. One small idea takes root, and before we know it, we’re spiraling—or on the verge of crashing out. Maybe you matched with someone on a dating app and had a great conversation, only for it to go quiet. Suddenly, you’re convinced they realized you’re unworthy or unlovable. Now imagine you’ve just started a new job, and after a presentation, a colleague messages, “Way to go.” Instead of encouragement, you hear sarcasm. You go home and start browsing job listings, convinced you’re unqualified and on the verge of being fired.

These  are all examples of cognitive distortions, which the American Psychological Association defines as “faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception, or belief.” And these distorted ways of thinking don’t just appear in adulthood—they often begin in childhood. Imagine a six-year-old who spills their juice and immediately thinks, “I’m so clumsy. I can’t do anything right.” Or remember being in third grade, misspelling a word on a test, and being convinced you’d fail the entire year.

This pattern of thinking can shape how we see ourselves and the world, often impacting our emotional health, self-worth, and relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or professional. We end up labeling our reactions with phrases like “crashing out,” “spiraling,” “buggin’,” or “losing it.” But what if those moments weren’t personal failures—just faulty thoughts that feel true but aren’t?  What if I told you it doesn’t have to be that way? These thought patterns can be challenged—and when they are, real and lasting change is possible.

Cognitive Distortions / Cognitive Behavior Therapy

You might be wondering, “How do I stop thinking this way?” That’s where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, comes in. CBT helps us understand how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. The idea is simple: what we say to ourselves shapes how we feel and how we act.

One great place to start is with journaling. Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps bring awareness to patterns that may have gone unnoticed. But what should you look for?

CBT teaches us about something called cognitive distortions—essentially, common ways our brains can trick us into thinking negatively. A few key ones include:

• Minimization: Shrinking your accomplishments or positive traits.
• Magnification: Blowing mistakes or flaws way out of proportion.
• Catastrophizing: Jumping to the worst-case scenario, even without real evidence.

These thought patterns can become automatic. For instance, if you fail a test, you might instantly think, “I’m a failure,” feel discouraged, and decide to stop trying. This distorted thinking affects not just your emotions, but your actions and choices as well.

Spotting and Challenging the Distortions

As previously mentioned, journaling is a great way to help identify thought patterns. But if journaling isn’t your thing, you can also keep track through thought logs—tools used in CBT to help make sense of your internal world. In a thought log, you record the triggering situation, your initial thoughts, the emotions you felt, and the behavior that followed. With practice, you can begin adding more balanced or alternative thoughts and compare how your emotional responses shift.

Another option is to use CBT-focused workbooks or guided apps, which often include helpful prompts and visual aids to track your progress.

So how do you begin challenging these distortions? Start by asking yourself:

• “Am I blowing this out of proportion?”
• “Am I jumping to the worst-case scenario?”
• “Is there any evidence that supports or contradicts this thought?”
• “What would I say to a friend in the same situation?”
• “Is there another way to look at this?”

These prompts are the foundation of cognitive restructuring, a tool used in CBT. The process goes like this:

• Identify the thought.
• Label the distortion (e.g., catastrophizing, minimizing).
• Challenge the evidence.
• Replace the original thought with a more balanced one.

Therapists can be incredibly helpful in walking you through this process. Sometimes, just having a nonjudgmental space to untangle your thoughts can offer the clarity and support needed to begin making real change.

Reach Out

If all of this feels like a lot—take a breath. It’s okay. Becoming aware of distorted thinking is a powerful first step, but changing it takes time, support, and self-compassion. Even with the tools in hand, you might still feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start.

That’s why reaching out for support can make all the difference. Therapists trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you recognize unhelpful thought patterns, guide you through techniques like cognitive restructuring, and offer a safe, nonjudgmental space to process what you’re feeling. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

In the meantime, start small. Pay attention to your inner narrative this week. Try this challenge: for every negative or distorted thought, identify three realistic or positive ones. Or reflect on this journal prompt: “What is one thing I minimized today that I could celebrate instead?”

The truth is, not every thought you think is true— and the good news is, you have the power to challenge and change them. Cognitive distortions may be loud, but they’re not the final word. With awareness and support, you can begin to unlearn these patterns and build a more compassionate, grounded view of yourself and the world around you.

Consider connecting with a therapist who can help you identify and challenge these thought patterns in real time. Change is possible—and it can start right now. Fill out our get-started form to start meeting with a therapist today!