Sunlight streamed into my kitchen, casting a warm glow on the sheer, white curtains. The gentle morning breeze danced through the partially open window, creating a whimsical waltz with the curtains. The faint smell of freshly mowed grass filled the air. I could hear the birds chirping. A bouquet of bright orange tulips in full bloom adorned the table, and a serving of sweet sliced strawberries awaited me by my laptop. I had deadlines to meet. Even in this picturesque scene, I took a deep breath and said what I had kept inside for days, “I am tired.”

I have uttered this self-confession, often begrudgingly, many times throughout my life. Admitting this for years made me feel weak like I could not handle things, or worse, like I had failed myself and the people around me. As a self-acclaimed type A, get-it-done, multitasking overachiever, weakness is not something I have historically quickly embraced or accepted.

Fixer of All Things

My tenacity has often provoked a kick-butt approach to life, one where I prefer to press through, move forward, and get back up—no matter the cost to my mental and physical well-being. Sometimes, acknowledging that I am tired feels beyond the realm of possibility. To be exhausted is to be ungrateful for all I have: the wonderfully bright kitchen, my children, my husband, or my tulips. Other times, my pride keeps the admission at bay as I try to be the fixer of all things.  I offer solutions and answers to every problem and setback, often failing to know my limits.

I have often strived to improve and avoid stagnation, internally and externally. The idea of wallowing in sameness, never getting better or going beyond the bounds of the ordinary day-to-day, has scared me. Words like stuck, apathetic, or complacent make me uncomfortable. They do not reflect my aspirations. I am more drawn to growing, changing, and transforming.

Still, despite these efforts, being tired – both when I admit it and when I don’t – undoubtedly affects me and my home. Feelings of exhaustion have gotten to my emotions, leading me to feel unbelievably defeated and discouraged — and discouragement multiplies. When I am exhausted, tired, and fed up, I can lash out in frustration rather than deal with the root of the issue head-on.

But what do we do when we are tired? In my case, once I have passed the lashing-out stage, tears usually follow. Have you ever cried tired tears? These tears mix guilt, anger, self-pity, and disappointment.

Remembering to Recharge

The way to treat our tiredness is by practicing balance and better boundaries. Responsible rest and better life balance are not just things we should all desire; they are necessary. Yes, there will be unexpected periods when life does not seem to be going how you planned. Yes, your boundaries may need to adapt, like water, to whatever life throws your way. Still, even then, we need to anchor ourselves to our life priorities and critical values.

This quote has stuck with me since I heard it years ago. Mercy Lokulutu said, “I don’t juggle, I cradle.” I constantly remind myself that juggling things will only wear me out and end in something inevitably dropping to the ground. Cradling is the way to go. I want to hold all that I value close to my heart. I want to be honest with myself and those around me about my exhaustion and take steps to heal that, to give my body and mind the rest it needs.

I do not want to exhaust my engines at work or elsewhere, and I do not want to be my most tired at home. I want to experience an abundant life with my family. When I am exhausted, I need to create the space to recharge. When fully charged, I will only show up as my complete self.

Don’t Run on Empty

Let’s go back to my kitchen. I stood up from my chair, left the laptop behind, grabbed the book I’d wanted to read, and joined the morning breeze and the chirping birds outside. It was only 15 minutes, but it was worth every minute.

It’s easy to get caught up in wanting more for yourself — striving to be a better you and accomplishing your dreams — that you exhaust yourself and run out of fuel. Rather than running your engine until the gasket is empty and you have run out of road, make the stop.

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you want to learn more about checking in with yourself and setting boundaries. We would love to have a conversation with you and work towards promoting healthy living.

The rest will be worth it.