Have you ever found yourself wondering what is on your therapist’s mind? Have you found yourself wanting to ask them questions about themselves, you, your treatment, your progress, what they think of your relationship? Well, that would make you completely human and normal! Human curiosity is a part of the therapeutic relationship. While the point of therapy is never for the therapist to receive comfort and support from a client, it’s totally normal to wonder about your therapist and wonder what they are thinking of you. After all, this is a relationship! Two people sitting across from each other for hours and hours, just talking. How could you not wonder?

A licensed therapist will have a treatment plan, goals, and ideas of how to spend the time in sessions, and will likely do their best to keep you on track. Even still, spending a few moments getting the answers to your questions is typically appropriate. Just keep in mind every therapist is different in their answers to the questions below. But here are a few things that clients often wonder about, with a licensed counselor’s opinion on the answers.

1. Are you worried about me? Do you think I’m going to be okay?

This one is nuanced. Do I worry about my clients? Sometimes. If there is a severe issue or a threatening health condition, worry is sometimes present for me. More often than not, I trust in my client’s abilities to take care of themselves, and to learn how to advocate for their own needs. And most of the time, I think I can see their growth, maybe even more than they can. So I often think, you will be just fine. That’s not to say that the learning and growing won’t hurt. But do I believe you will make it? Yes.

2. Do you see a therapist?

I can’t answer for all therapists, but I can answer for myself and it’s YES! I don’t know where I would be without therapy. I have met with several providers, and even a spiritual director in my life. Sometimes we meet every week, when things are feeling rough, and sometimes we meet monthly. It depends on how I’m feeling and what’s going on in my life. I have had times in my life where my anxiety is manageable, and times where it’s felt overwhelming. I have found I do much better when I have someone to lean on. A lot of times, the help of a therapist is the reason other therapists get into this job!

3. Do you ever get tired of listening to my stories?

Short answer; no. I love listening to people! Most days I feel like I have to pinch myself that this is my job. Some days are harder than others. Just like any one else, I have my own personal shortcomings, and nights where I don’t sleep well. But to be invited into the most sensitive and tender parts of another person’s world, is always an honor.

4. Are you married? Do you have kids?

Therapists will sometimes differ in how they answer this question, but it’s likely that the majority would feel comfortable answering. The reason a therapist might hesitate to answer is likely either a personal or a clinical opinion. For one, the session time is limited. We only get about 50 minutes a week to get to everything on your mind. We want to make sure that the focus stays on you, because, well that’s why we’re here! We also know sometimes it can be hard to jump right in, and we don’t want to get too far off course. The other reason may be that it’s a personal preference to keep their personal information to themselves. For me, I don’t mind answering these questions, and a lot of my colleagues feel the same. These are questions and information we want to know about all kinds of people, and it’s not unreasonable to be curious.

5. Am I crying too much?

If you find yourself crying in session, every week, this would not be uncommon or abnormal. Therapists will be on the lookout for reports of crying daily, and frequently throughout the day, so as to assess for varying levels of depression. But inside of the session, we find it’s quite normal to be tearful. We are touching things in your psyche and your heart, that might have been left alone for a long time. We are talking about things, maybe you have nowhere else to talk about, and that could be quite painful. To cry, is to process, and to process is to heal. Tears are welcome, and often necessary.

So the next time you’re thinking to yourself, “I wonder what they think about this?” Know you can ask your therapist, and you might just be surprised at the answer; you might find out you are more “normal” and human than you even realized. Hey, us therapists sometimes have questions about your life too! “Where did you get that sweater?” “What was the name of that restaurant you went to?” It’s normal!

Reach Out

If therapy is new to you, hopefully this article helps to familiarize you with what to expect. If you’re not new to therapy and looking for someone to build a connection with, whom you can lean on and get support from, reach out and set up an appointment with a therapist today.

Don’t hesitate to reach out and get started today!