Navigating an eating disorder around the holiday season can oftentimes feel daunting and challenging. The start of the holiday season can often come with joy, excitement and anticipation. Yet with an eating disorder, the colder months can bring with it the arrival of fear and dread. Constant exposure to food, glorification of eating non-stop, a variety of foods and beverages that can often feel unsafe or unfamiliar, and stressful family dynamics that come up during the holidays can trigger those all-too-familiar eating disorder thoughts. Furthermore, the holidays are meant to be an opportunity each year to rest, to relax and to enjoy time with the people you love most. Yet that eating disorder voice can all too often block out the sounds of joy with sounds of self-criticism and anxiety.

However, the holidays don’t have to leave you feeling powerless and alone. By preparing for this time ahead and shifting your focus to factors within your control, you are more likely to have a holiday season that is fulfilling and meaningful. Below are 9 tips to help you navigate the holiday season with an eating disorder.

Nine Tips to Consider This Holiday Season

Spend your mornings getting centered.

When the day starts, the family starts arriving and the general holiday chaos ensues, it can be easy to get off track, forget your goals, get distracted by the eating disorder thoughts and engage in behaviors. Spend some time in the mornings getting grounded and preparing for the day. This can look like doing meditation/prayer or doing some journaling about topics such as what your goals are for that day, what are some challenges that may arise and how do you plan to meet those challenges head on, or drawing to mind things you are grateful for.

Get accountability.

This could be with a trusted friend or family member, and give them warning signs to watch out for. Having accountability, encouragement and support during eating disorder treatment makes all the difference in recovery. Open up to a family member or friend about what struggles you foresee coming up, what your goals are and ask if they would be willing to support you in them. Offering them common behaviors that you engage in to keep an eye out for or having them there to offer encouragement or even just a hug are some great steps to ensure that you have proper support during this time.

Reframe holidays as an opportunity for growth. 

Although the holidays can be scary and intimating with an eating disorder, it is working through discomfort that leads to the greatest change and growth. Seeing the holidays as a time to challenge yourself, to try new things, to practice utilizing coping tools, to become stronger and to grow in your independence can make all the difference in your mindset going into the holiday season.

Consider meeting with a registered dietitian.

Preferably one with experience with individuals with eating disorders, as research suggests that a multidisciplinary approach is especially helpful for eating disorder treatment. Whereas many eating disorders are rooted in misinformation about food, what our bodies need, what calories are and how our bodies use different macronutrients, registered dietitians are individuals who have gone through extensive education and training on this topic. They can be an enormously helpful resource in breaking down misconceptions about food, explaining in an evidence-based manner how food interacts with our bodies, and can be invaluable in helping come up with a plan/eating goals that keep you challenging your eating disorder but in a way that is healthy and sustainable.

Stay off social media. 

Research suggests there is a very strong link between social media usage and eating disorders. Not to mention, social media is all too often a breeding ground for comparison and food misinformation, and keeps you numbed out and distracted instead of staying in the present. It’s also easy to get sucked into social media, particularly short-form video content which is designed to keep you scrolling, with very little control on your part regarding what content pops up on your feed. The holidays are a great time to take a social media break and to engage in other, more adaptive, coping mechanisms or distractions that support you and your recovery journey.

Set goals.

Set goals with your therapist or dietitian ahead of time or, if possible, meet with them during the holidays for accountability. With the overwhelming amount of food-related messaging during this time, as well as the dysfunctional eating habits that come along with an eating disorder, eating can feel like an even greater challenge to navigate during the holidays. However, by having goals set with your therapist and RD ahead of time, there can be greater clarity about how to utilize the holidays well and what goals will help push you forward, without overwhelming yourself. Additionally, as mentioned, having support during eating disorder treatment is invaluable and having the support of professionals that can offer compassion in a different way that family/friends can is very important.

Intentionally integrate non-food related activities.

Do things that bring you joy and that are values-based. The winter holiday festivities oftentimes have a large food focus, convincing you that because of this, the holidays can’t be a time of true enjoyment. However, there are so many other things about the season to be admired, loved and enjoyed. There are also constantly so many needs and opportunities for volunteer work, and utilizing the extra holiday free time in this way can be incredibly fulfilling, not to mention meaningful to someone else. According to the Mayo Clinic, volunteer work can improve physical and mental health, can lower rates of depression and anxiety, can provide a sense of purpose, offer community and learn new skills. This can look like going on leisurely walks to admire the fall colors, doing a holiday-themed craft, decorating your home with holiday decor, having a snowball fight or volunteering at a homeless shelter or some other charity that means something to you.

Have a coping list on hand.

When stressors arise and anxiety starts to climb, it can be difficult to think of a coping tool to use in the moment. Therefore, having a note in your notes app or a bookmarked page in a notebook with a list of coping tools that have worked for you in the past can be incredibly helpful, as it takes the guesswork out of things; just open up the note if you start to feel triggered and pick one or a few coping tools to utilize.

Shift your control to something else.

Eating disorders are primarily rooted in one thing: a desire for control. Yet, ironically, the nature of an eating disorder does not increase control but causes the sufferer to be more out of control. Ask yourself, what is in control during this time? Maybe shifting your control looks like working to take control over your eating disorder behaviors, shifting your control to a life goal/non-eating disorder goal that you would like to meet, journaling about the factors that are inside your control or setting a goal that is relationship-based rather than eating disorder-based. Recognizing the areas in which you do have control and making that be your focus this holiday season is an opportunity for empowerment and growth.

In summary

Eating disorders take a lot from people; they steal joy, fulfillment, excitement and fun. They offer temporary relief but are never a long-term solution. The hope is that by taking one or all of these tips, your eating disorder doesn’t have to also take this holiday season from you, and that this can instead be a season of joy, growth and beauty.