Written by therapist Fallyn Lara
The word “identity” can be a daunting one for us to define. This may have been defined by what our parents told us to be, societal standards, our job, our education status, or so many different things. What if a piece of our identity is actually based on our core values?
You may ask, what is a core value? Well, simply put, it is at the foundation of who you are, a driving force, if you will, of what you do or don’t do. There are some that value friendship, loyalty, faith, or even humor. Can you name your top ten values, top five? Research shows, if you can identify your core values, you have a better job at making life decisions, are less likely to engage in destructive thought patterns, and may even have a deeper sense of connection to friends and family.
How do I define my core values?
An activity I do often with my clients is what I call, “The Values Breakdown”. We look over a list of values, and I give them anywhere from five to ten minutes to write down their top ten core values. Afterwards, I ask them to go back and narrow that list down to their top five core values. Now, most clients give me a look like, “are you serious?” or have said, “ah that’s hard,” yet, every time, they were able to do it. If you’re interested in learning about your core values, grab a piece of paper and complete the activity explained above. You can review the full list of core values given by the Soul Salt resource.
Core Values List
Values and Therapy
Now that you have had a chance to define your values the next piece is assessing, how integrated are these in your life? Is it possible that some of your core values have gone to the wayside without your awareness? Time and time again, we may be going through life and find ourselves inching farther and farther away from what we deem to be important in our lives. We can actually feel the disconnect through what we call, “cognitive dissonance.” With many of my clients, we take a deep dive into each of their values and rate where they are at, and some areas that they would like to incorporate more of.
If you are trying to strengthen your identity or who you would like to become I encourage you to request an appointment today. I would love to meet you!