June 23, 2023

Fruit to Root

By Connor Small
Identity Development
Mental Health & Wellbeing

Do you ever feel like your actions don’t reflect who you are? Do you want to make a change but don’t know where to start? This can be a frustrating realization and can be hard to figure out why. It can be hard to get to the root of our behaviors to find change and growth. This quick model can help us learn more about ourselves and how we can improve our responses! Helping to align our beliefs with our actions is a great way to begin to live a more genuine and holistic life!

Identifying Actions

First we start with the behavior we notice that is in opposition to our beliefs. This step can sometimes be easy to notice, but can also be difficult to pinpoint. In this first step, we ask the question, “what do I do?” This can be something like losing our patience and lashing out at others. The key is that this is a behavior we are aware of and that we would like to change.

What These Actions Say

The next step is to identify what this behavior would say about us. It is important to note that this is not a TRUTH about you but rather an incorrect belief or assumption based on a singular act. We are complex and multifaceted and one action does not define us. However, by breaking down what an action would say about us helps us identify if it aligns with our values and beliefs. An example would look something like, “if I lose my patience with someone, then maybe I am not a patient person.”

Do My Beliefs Align?

The next step would be to look at beliefs or values associated with that action and see if they align with what we know ourselves to be or want to strive towards. If my action was losing patience, and that could say that I am not a patient person, I can ask myself: is that what I want to be or know myself to be? Sometimes this answer is not always clear and that’s okay! This is still a great way to grow in self-understanding! However, self understanding is not the end, but rather the launching point for the next steps!

What Are My Beliefs

After we have identified the way our actions do not align with our beliefs, now we work backwards! This next phase begins with asking the question, “what do I know about my beliefs?” These beliefs often shape who we are, but sometimes we find ourselves acting against them without even realizing. An example of this would be, “I know I believe patience is a virtue.”

Applying My Belief

Now is when we can take that belief and apply it to ourselves. This is where we think about what action would apply to our belief. If I believe patience is a virtue, then that would mean I am someone who should practice patience with others.


The final step is putting it all together into a tangible result. This is a great place to think of a time when you can practice what you have worked through. If you determine that you are someone who should be patient, think of an opportunity when you can try this out! You may not be perfect at it right away, but you have already taken steps towards growth by identifying this area you want to work on!

This is a quick and helpful process to help us identify ways we can better align our beliefs with our actions. It can be broken down into 3 main parts: our actions, our beliefs or values around those actions, and seeing if they align.

Reach Out For Support

This is not always an easy process. Sometimes we need help from others to determine or define our beliefs or discover how our actions can better reflect who we are., and that is okay! This process is not the finish line, but rather a starting point! If you would like to learn more about your beliefs and actions or generally want to learn more about yourself don’t hesitate to reach out. We would love to walk alongside you in the journey of personal growth and living a holistically healthy life!

Written By

Connor Small

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