By Fallyn Lara
Do you ever find yourself in a place that feels stuck, stagnant, or lost? This can be due to work stress, family conflict, or relationship issues. More often than not, when this is going on, there can be some discouragement and negative self-talk happening. Thinking, “I can’t get out of this,” or “I don’t know what to do, and it feels so unclear.” There have been times when clients of mine feel so defeated in their situation that it can be hard to take a step back and see the full picture of it. We use the concept below time and time again; it helps clients feel more hopeful and empowered about what to do next.
Seeing the Full Picture
Usually, when my clients feel stuck or overwhelmed, I like to utilize a tool called the “choice point.” This is under the acceptance and commitment umbrella. Essentially, we look to define what you want to move “towards”. As the visual shows below, we start to define “who is the person I want to be?” and “what does it look like to act effectively?”. Then, we define what it means to move “away”. Afterward, we look to see what the “helpers” and “hooks” that are either helping or hurting us from getting to our desired direction. This gives a full picture of what is actually going on and how we can lean on our helpers. Once we can understand what is happening, it can increase our sense of power in the circumstance at hand, hopefully instilling hope and encouragement.
Hooks, Helpers, and Therapy
Now that you have defined each component, you can be more aware when those “hooks” try to snag you. I often say to my clients that “self-awareness can be a superpower based on how you use it.” Once you point out those hooks and helpers, we can start to further process how to move from the hooks to helpers through different cognitive technique practices in therapy.
If you want to better utilize your helpers in life, I encourage you to request an appointment today. I would love to meet you!
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